(Before you start, make sure you have a blindfold and fully charged batteries). *
1.Treat your partner to a candlelit bath
In order to make this enjoyable you'll need to provide ear defenders to drown out the shrieks of "mamaaaa" from the toddler. (Everyone under the age of 4 has a radar which detects all attempts at parental relaxation so they can be thwarted). Also blindfold them, so they can't see the mould growing on the pile of bathtoys balanced precariously on the side of the bath.
2. Have a romantic dinner
Obviously you'll be too tired to cook and will probably forget to go to M&S to get anything nice, so why not just get the toddler's play tea set and 'pretend' you're having a romantic dinner.
3. Buy strawberries and chocolates and feed them to each other seductively
Only works if you can resist the in-built urge to make aeroplane noises. If you forget to buy strawberries (you probably will), raid the toddler's snack box for mini boxes of raisins or a babybel.
4. Watch a romantic film together once the kids are in bed
You'll need to be prepared for this one as its likely finding a DVD other than Peppa or Mr Tumble will take several days of rummaging through baby junk. Don't forget that even though they're asleep, they will KNOW you're trying to relax together and wake up crying at least 4-6 times during the film. Pop those fully charged batteries in the remote control for extensive pausing and rewinding.
5. After your lovely evening together, share some intimate moments in bed
Hahahahaha. Only joking, you're more likely to share your bed with a kicking wriggling toddler and a baby whose nappies leak through their pyjamas.
Happy Valentines Day!
*No, not for THAT...Get your head out of the Ann Summers catalogue.