21 March 2014

Being a parent is NOT a full time job!

Yesterday in the supermarket a woman noticed I was buying toddler shoes but carrying a small baby. She asked if I had an older child too. Yes, I said, he's nearly 2. Wow, she said. 2 small children! That's almost like a full time job isn't it?!

Hahahahahahahahaha.

NO.

OH NO.

It's not ALMOST LIKE A FULL TIME JOB CASHIER LADY.

It's like THREE full time jobs! 



Let's take a look at the term 'full time job' shall we?

A "full time job" takes up 37.5 hours of your week (plus commute). Having small children takes up 137.5 hours. And that is generously allowing for 5 hours (broken) sleep a night (and one 30 minute nap per week). Which I'm counting as time off even though it isn't because you're not off duty during sleeping hours. So no, being a 'full time' parent is NOTHING LIKE having a 'full time job'!!!

Other reasons being a parent is not a full time job

If you have a "full time job"...

You don't have to take your work with you to the toilet or the shower.

Your boss doesn't wake you up by screaming at you every 2 hours between shifts. 

People don't stop you in the street and criticise the way you're doing your job. 

Your colleagues are not psychopaths who torture you with impossible riddles all day long. (Like "Help me get these raisins out of this box immediately but don't touch me OR the box of raisins")

You get paid. 

If you want to change jobs you don't have to pay someone to do your old job out of your new wage.

If you do change jobs (and pay someone else to do your old job at the same time) you also have to do your old job 16 hours a day on top of the 8 hours you spend at your new job.

You get lunch breaks.

If you are sick you don't have to work.

You get holidays.

If you're at work and someone kicks you in the head, or wipes their bodily fluids on you, you'd most likely be able to request not to work with them any more.

In most jobs it's not acceptable for someone to suck milk out of your body for half an hour every 3 hours. 

You get hours and hours of FREE TIME every single day! (Y'know? Those hours before and after work? Yeah, we don't get those!)


So condescending cashier lady, next time you tell someone that being a parent is "almost like a full time job" count yourself lucky that they don't drop their kids on you and run away to the dreamland that is a "full time job".

62 comments:

  1. Haha maybe it's my job but I totally disagree. Sure you're working 24 hours a day as a SAHM but as a working mum my Job is 13 hours, plus standing on a hot sweaty train for three hours... and then the remaining hours I try to fit it 24 hours worth of time with my kids, even though I only have a couple of hours! Plus I rarely get breaks, usually work late, every shift I have bodily fluids on me, I don't pee for 13 hours, I'm in life or death situations... Totally agree about using the money you earn to pay someone else to watch your children though. I miss being a SAHM so much, sure it's a tough job but much more rewarding than anything else IMO x

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  2. Are you a nurse? Me too! Totally agree. Working full time AND being a parent is a superhuman feat. I applaud you. And yes, while I moan about it, being a full time mum is an amazing privilege and I will miss it horribly when I go back to work. Thanks for commenting x

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  3. Hahaha - you tell the nosy old hole. I had two 9 months apart - it was the hardest thing I ever did (I promise it gets easier when they can put their own shoes on and climb the stairs without breaking their neck). Love the raison riddle xxx

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  4. Haha! Love this, great post and my God, that woman needs a serious wake up call!

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  5. justanormalmummy21 March 2014 at 10:44

    *sniggering while wrestling raisin box away from angry toddler* :))

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  6. Oh my gosh love this, so true and hysterical too!

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  7. the raisins bit is SOOOO true!!!!

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  8. Haha thank you! Yes I long for the day a staircase stops being a death trap! :) xxx

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  9. Ps NINE MONTHS APART?!?!! ..... I have no words.

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  10. Lol poor old lady was probably just trying to be nice! :)

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  11. Pah good luck with that. Mine would rather eat the cardboard box than let me touch it!

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  12. Lol what is it with toddlers and their raisin habits?!

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  13. Aw thank you!! Thanks for sharing it on twitter and Facebook too :) xx

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  14. So, so, so true and so, so so funny!!!! x

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  15. hahah that's brilliant :D

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  16. :) thank you! :)

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  17. so true. it is a vocation ;-)

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  18. Lol yeah. Synonyms of vocation are "mission" and "life's work" :) totally agree! X

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  19. close... midwife :p glad you took my comment in the right way, I reread it aftrer and thought eek hope that doesn't come across bad! Sometimes it's so hard to type things the way you would say them - iykwim! x

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  20. That is so funny n can agree and relate to a lot of this if not all lol, I'm a mum to five so defo get the my gosh how do u do it look n " u got ur hands full ain't u" but it doesn't matter if u got 1 or 10 it is hard work but wen any of my children look at me and say I love u or u get a kiss, cuddle etc its the most amazing feeling in the world and all the sleepless nights, fights, sick etc is defo worth it lol xx

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  21. Aw definitely! Even at 2am the cuddles are the best :) x

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  22. Completely agree with your post, although I find this working mum vs at home mum thing that's emerged lately makes me quite sad. We're all Parents doing our best for our children, it's not a competition of who does more and who's job is of more worth; we all do an awful lot of work and none of us Mum's seem to get a break..we're just doing different things with our time. It is rather sad that society, as a whole, seems to have moved to the view that all Parents should be out working and that caring for your child and raising them is no longer an important role... x

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  23. Oh I agree! Didn't mean to compare working mums with sah mums at all. Was more comparing being a parent to not being a parent :).

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  24. ooh being a mum is a busy busy thing, no 'job' compares really, possibly tours of duty in the army cos no one is trying to kill you as a mum and in a foreign country, possibly hostile territory is there ever time off? no one ever compares those tho. i admire working mums as i find it full on just being a sahm to my 2 kiddies (2yrs and 6 months) and couldn't imagine having to leave them and miss bits of them growing up to go to work let alone having the energy to do it

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  25. Emmie BigMac McDonald24 March 2014 at 14:47

    God I love this! I have an extremely interested in everything all the time 7yr old and a 1yr old who is blind and has mobility problems. But the only comments I get when I say I'm tired are "but you've been at home all day"......-_- yes I have, picking fluff out of my bum, watching judge Judy and eating frosties while the kids scream from the (locked) cupboard under the stairs and the cleaning/washing/ironing fairies dash about doing the house work and the cordon blue chefs get dinner on -_-
    I had an abscess on my tooth a few months back...needed an operation and a load of iv antibiotics in hospital...was the best 2 days sleep I've had in 7yrs

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  26. Lol sounds like a lovely treat! :)

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  27. (P.S, i am very sleep deprived, so - hoping this is a comparison between nulliparous individuals and 'parent's in general' rather than "working parents and/or individuals" and "non-working parents". Scuse my defensiveness if the former is the case. My brain is fried.

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  28. Ok, yes. It's about the difference between having JUST a job and having kids. Not between having kids and having kids AND a job. I also work I just happen to be on maternity leave! I'm not a "stay at home mum", in fact I would love to be one. I adore being at home with my kids, but I'm allowed to have a little whinge about it too ok? Without being called a narcissist or a martyr. I understand you're tired, but it's not ok to be nasty to me. I just wrote a tongue in cheek blog post to try and make people laugh.

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  29. Try all of that with 3 children...one who is becoming a grumpy teenager and a 9 year old and 3 year old plus working 22 hours a week and completing a year long university course!! My hair has actually been falling out!!!!

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  30. My husband goes to work, comes home and thinks he deserves a few hours peace, no housework, no parent stuff... I work from home, I have my 4 yr old with my most of the day and the other two children outside school hours. Housework, childcare, plus a full time job (photographer) taking up 30-40 hours a week. Hmph.

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  31. Too true, I have a 5 year old, 1 year old and a 2 year old

    But I don't do anything during the day apparently!

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  32. But don't you think it's better than having a full time job?! It's something we choose to do - its a life choice to have children. So despite having no holidays or sick pay the rewards (in my opinion) completely out weigh your cons. I have 3 children and work 20 hours a week. I enjoy going to work so I have my own identity - but coming home and being a mother is so so sooooo much more fun.

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  33. Very well said shay

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  34. If it's not a 'job', why do parents insist on putting 'full time mammy / daddy' on 'working' parts of questionnaires ?

    I understand being a parent is hard, but you chose to have kids, stop moaning about it like it's a chore . . Some people will never experience having kids ! !

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  35. Condescending mother is what I'm getting from this. Having a child is a choice. Having a job is a necessity.

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  36. Oh absolutely!!! I'd give my right arm to not have to go back to work after this maternity leave! It's the absolute best job in the world and I adore it! But a girl's allowed to moan right? :)

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  37. Eeek! Teenagers scare me! :) not surprised your hair is trying to run away! ;) xx

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  38. Hmph indeed :) xx

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  39. Lol wowzers! That's a busy house!! Thank god they go to school after a while eh? :) x

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  40. I just want to clarify that this is a comedy blog. I am on maternity leave and have a wonderful job as a nurse but being at home with my boys is my dream job. I'm not dissing anyone, parent/working parent/non parent or otherwise!

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  41. i love this it is so true, we own a hotel so are job is all day every day, we have two children one of which is ADHD and my smallest has problems with her feet n eyes so my partner does the most amount of hours while i work what i can in between school runs, serving breakfast, hosiptal appointments for both children and my self as i suffer with ME too, then i am a part-time law student too, oh did i forget to mention i am also the housekeeper of our hotel and i have the washing and cleaning to do in our living department lol but u know what i am lucky person coz i live at work and spend time with my children while i am working but it is very hard work for both my partner n me

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  42. This has made my day! I have a 3 year old and a six month old. Both boys! I couldn't agree more with what u have said
    People don't realise how hard it is! So many people have said sanw ti to me n I've thought hold on id love a full time job that's a walk in the park compared tp raising to children single handed. Its good to know there's other mums out there that feel the same. Xx

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  43. I know how you feel specially with the bodily fluid as my girls liked to share :) love the post :)

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  44. I appreciate that as a single 23 year old male, i may not seem qualified to discuss this matter, however i feel there are some things that need to be said. Being a full time mum is most definitely not a full time job. Exactly because of all the things mentioned in your article here. People who say that motherhood and employment are not the same thing are not necessarily depicting parenthood as a diminutive partaking, just pointing out very obvious differences. I am not for one second suggesting i work harder in my 40 hour week than you do as a mum, but we most definitely do not both do ''jobs''. Slave workers or people in forced labour most definitely put more effort in than me in my office job but no one would call slave labour a ''full time job'', Simply because they do not fit the same criteria. Its just semantics. All the best

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  45. I LOVE this!! Ive read it about 5 times today and each time have a little giggle to myself. I have a 10 year old, a 3 yr old, a 2 yr old and a 5 week old and I always say Id love a job as going to work would be like a holiday to me lol! Keep up the great work!!

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  46. Hehe thanks for your comment. I'm just trying to be funny. I know the cashier didn't mean anything by it :) This is just a joke. :) all the best x

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  47. Lol thanks :) xx

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  48. Ah I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! X

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  49. :) hehe glad it made you laugh! X

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  50. Ah thanks! You keep up the good work too! :) xx

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  51. Michael Best Jr.25 March 2014 at 18:42

    Stupid I have 3 children it's not a job at all its a responsibility to look after them. You brought yours in to this world. @I love all my kids and have never classed them as a job you need to understand the meaning of job. That's like Mr saying looking after my pet's or my car or my house is a job. Oooh it makes my blood boil. I do all that and still go to work. Grow up and get a grip and a bloody job

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  52. Hi, I noticed your post because you have a visually impaired child with mobility problems. My gorgeous grandson Leo also has these problems. His latest diagnosis is Jouberts syndrome. Would be interested to know more about your child as these two problems don't often go hand in hand.

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  53. Thanks for your comment. Is it ok if I clarify a few things for you? 1. I am a nurse, I'm on maternity leave because I had a baby 3 months ago. 2. This is a comedy blog about being a Mum, not a serious article with a point to prove. 3. I adore being at home with my babies and would give up my job to stay at home with them in an instant if we could afford it.

    It's bizarre that people seemingly aren't allowed to have a moan or a rant about something if they chose to do it. I bought my car but I still get annoyed about the way the door handle sticks sometimes... Does that make your blood boil too?

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  54. Louise Griffiths26 March 2014 at 00:10

    Absolutely love this. Clearly a comedic was to look at motherhood! And isn't it just like a man to miss to point!! ;) however, we all do feel exactly like this when we are having a bad day, just for a minute or two

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  55. Also, why do we always have to say we love being a parent? Oh it's hard...but it's the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD? *forced laugh*. No sometimes it *insert swearword* sucks. It is not always the best job in the world. Yes, I chose to work at Macdonalds just like I chose to have a child. Neither were the best job in the world but being a mum is certainly the HARDEST job in the world. I don't see why mums always have to be so happy to be mums (or stay at home dads). It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be depressed and, if you are, hang in there because you're doing a wonderful job even if it isn't wonderful today.

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  56. Sorry but it annoys me when I hear you go on about how hard being a single parent is. I my self am a single parent to two. A boy and girl. But I still find it easier than when i was working full time. I find it less stressful and i get plenty of free time to my self. It's called 'routine' get your self in a routine the rest easy. Sorry but I've done it now for over 3 years on my own and it is not hard work at all, A full time job is harder. An I am a man of 37 if any cares.

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  57. This is brilliant! I am a single parent and have 2 special needs children and it irritates the heck out of me when people say "Oh you're not working!?" Are fecken kidding me?!?! Since I've had my children I've barely stopped working you Moron!!! No I don't get paid in the conventional way by an employer that doesn't mean I don't work, work a lot harder than most "employed" people, thank you. Also annoys me when people say "Well you chose to have your children!". Let's ignore the fact they were both surprises (for different reasons) very nice surprises but surprises none the less, I never imagined I'd be a single parent nor have 2 special needs children but that's the way it is and I have very little support so it's bloody hard. I'm not a Zombie or technically the living dead but that's what I feel like a lot of the time, most the time I am beyond exhausted, there is no word for how tired I am sometimes. Anyway despite how hard it is I would NEVER give up my children for an easier life but it doesn't alter how hard it is and I'm pretty sick of being judged and patronised by people who clearly have no feckin idea!!! I probably do not have an IQ that would qualify for Mensa but it doesn't mean I'm lacking in intelligence because I am not technically employed. I could go on but I'll stop there.

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  58. Thank you for making me feel Human and important as a lot of people in my 2yrs as a mum have made me feel worthless. Thank you Thank you Thank you For Making Me LAUGH xxx

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  59. Hilarious, I have 1 child and am about to return to full time work, and secretly (well not really) part of me is looking forward to the BREAK!!! I will wee in peace and can hide from my awful clients in the toilet, yay :)

    [just on the raisins point sometimes people at my work do this too...but not with raisins...]

    And yes a girl is allowed to moan/rant/whinge I would have thought a blog was the perfect forum for it!

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    Replies
    1. Lol thank you. Totally with you on people at work being as demanding as toddlers! ;) xx

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  60. THIS! And THIS again! Brilliant. That is all xx

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  61. I've gone back to work and I'm not a stay at home and unpopular as it is - going to work is far easier! Although it's the guilt and the disapproving others that kills you when you announce that you work. It's impossible. No one can win. Let's just hope that regardless if we are employed full time, part time, self employed or stay at home that our kids don't care and know they're loved regardless. And haven't sent their parents totally grey...

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