10 February 2015

The real reasons I want to be a stay at home mum

I'm currently a part-time working Mum. I only work 2 days a week (stupidly long days, but only 2) and my self-employed husband takes those 2 days off to look after the boys.

Even only working 2 days is too much for me. I love my job but really, I want to be a stay at home Mum. 

Obviously that's because I miss my boys like crazy when I'm at work. I long to be with them all the time: to witness every tantrum; every poo explosion; every yoghurt explosion; every new food fad; every fist fight; and every suspected concussion.

But missing the kids isn't the real reason I want to be a SAHM.

The REAL reason is this:

This is my change bag (yes. It IS beautiful isn't it. No I did NOT pay for it myself.)

This is my change bag after my husband has looked after my children for a single day. 

There are 5 nappies EACH for the boys in the main compartment of the bag. In spite of me telling him 17,000 times about the fully stocked, easily accessible nappy pockets on the outside of the bag, he ALWAYS shoves a handful extra in. Even though he only ever takes the kids out for 45 minutes at a time!

There are 3 packets of wipes in the bag, which means he has packed the strategically placed "home" wipes. So now, not only is my change bag stupidly heavy and full and I can't find anything in it, but also there are no wipes anywhere handy when the baby is covered head to toe in yoghurt after breakfast, or the toddler poos in the living room. Ideal. 

There are no snacks in the bag. Surely if you dispense the snacks you should REPLACE the snacks. It's irresponsible parenting like this that lands me snack-less in a traffic jam with screaming children.
Sometimes there are opened and half eaten snacks in the bag. I'm not just talking raisins sprinkled liberally around the bag... Last week there was HALF A BANANA. Have you seen the lining of my beautiful bag? Does such a beautiful lining deserve banana gunge? Does it???

It's taken a few years of training to encourage him to pack spare clothes for the kids. He didn't even change his ways after the dressing the baby in a tea-towel incident of 2012: Poonami with no spare clothes = tea-towel toga for precious first born. Months and years of nagging later, he now (begrudgingly) chucks in several changes of clothes into the bag. Several changes of ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE clothes. It was minus 5 degrees today. My toddler had a spare pair of thin cotton CHINOS and a short sleeve t-shirt packed in case of an accident. CHINOS!!!

And ALL the beakers are in the bag. Not in the dishwasher. Cos y'know, sometimes you need 4 toddler sized drinks of water when you pop to your mums house. 

Obviously it's not JUST the change bag that makes me want to quit my job. 

It's also the fact the kids coats are left in the car instead of hanging up by the front door.

And the toddler's lunchbox hasn't been unpacked from yesterday. And isn't packed for tomorrow.

It's how the baby's favourite (alright, my favourite) long sleeve bodysuit with a super cute penguin on was on the passenger seat of the car covered in POO. This is a 3-fold offence:
1. He had used my favourite baby clothes to wipe the toddler's pooey bum.
2. He left the poo-rag in the car.
3. The reason he had used clothes to clean the toddler is because he had forgotten the change bag! The very same (beautiful) change bag he overpacked and thus totally ruined that morning.  

So yes, the change bag, the clothing, the beakers, open bananas, all of these things make me want to quit my job. But the worst thing about how Daddy looks after the boys, is the way he totally shows me up! Despite RUINING my beautiful bag and getting caught short without babywipes, he's actually really bloody good at it. God knows what witchcraft he uses but he seems to cook and feed them healthy meals AND keep the house tidy AND he doesn't even resort to television to keep them entertained. The very, very worst part of me going to work and Daddy looking after the boys is the ridiculous, elaborate games he invents which I'm then expected to play...

"Mummy Mummy! You have to chase us round this beanbag really fast with the Hoover singing 'here we go round the mulberry bush' but with new lyrics each time and then catch us like a monster and throw us upside down"... Really? Do I? REALLY?!

So yeah, yeah my husband is a wonderful, loving, fun Dad who puts every ounce of his energy into caring for and entertaining our boys. Lucky me. Lucky kids. Blah blah blah.

My point is I wish he'd be a bit better at packing change bags and a bit worse at fun!


  1. Amy I actually love you. This annoys the hell out of me because my husband does all of this too on a Monday when he's home. DRIVES ME BONKERS. How can it be so hard??? So glad I'm not the only one who despairs about this! xxx

    1. Thanks Kiran :) I'm also glad I'm not the only one! The joy of blogging and sharing your inner most turmoils, to find everyone has the same issues! :)

  2. hahaha - I too have strategically placed home wipes and it DRIVES ME FUCKING MAD when the husband shoves them in the buggy. Especially when I'm coated in shit. :/ x

    1. Hell hath no fury like a Mum without strategically placed home wipes.

  3. I'm not as good at the fun either! Love your change bag x

  4. My husband does some of the same things. As far as the change bag, he doesn't do anything with it, including taking out trash, etc. But, when he's home with the kids he manages to entertain them and do laundry and keep everything clean. It makes me crazy!

    1. Oh yes, it's sooo annoying when they're really good at parenting isn't it?!

  5. Oh I hear ya sister! My partner can not pack a changing bag to save him life and there is a place for everything in my bag!!! Brill post xx

    1. Haha thanks so much! Oooh I do love a neatly packed change bag! :) x

  6. Ha ha ha!!!! I love it!!! All I hear from Jenson is ''Well Daddy lets us blah blah blah'' my reply is a simple ''Well I'm not Daddy!!!'' (which usually gets a 3yo clever reply of 'I know Mummy because you dont have a willy'' which isnt quite the point im trying to make but hey...hes not wrong!!!!!

    1. Hahaha. It's ALL about the willies right now in our house too! :) xx