2 April 2015

40 things I felt when my kids had chicken pox



1. Surprise.
Oooh! Chicken pox! Really?

2. Mild excitement. 
Well, this is different and therefore less boring than a normal week! And everyone loves a trip to the big pharmacy for new medicines!


3. Uncertainty. 
Are they REALLY chicken pox? He seems totally fine still and there's not THAT many.

4. Complete certainty. 
If these aren't chicken pox I'll eat my hat.

5. Smugness. 
This is a walk in the park. Bit of TV, few cuddles. Chicken pox is a breeze.

6. Pity. 
Oh, no, my poor little soldier with his spotty little belly looking all gross and sorry for himself.

7. Dread. 
Ah. This is getting bad, but he's nearly 3, how awful is it going to be when the 15 month old gets it?

8. Unbridled joy. 
YES! He's so poorly and sad he has to come into my bed and watch Netflix with me all night long. #toddlersnuggles #mumwin. Hands down, best evening of my life. 

9. Boredom. 
Ok, that was fun but seriously, we literally can't go ANYWHERE? 

10. Isolation.   
How I LONG to go and awkwardly sing the wheels on the bus in a circle of other awkward mums while our toddlers ignore us. Or even... heaven forbid, go to a soft play!

11. Outrage. 
Why did all my friends go and have stupid tiny babies who are all weak and susceptible to a puny little virus?! Whatever happened to chicken pox parties? I'm so lonely damnit!

12. Hope.  
He seems a lot better, he'll be all scabbed over by tomorrow won't he? 

13. Euphoria. 
GET IN! All scabbed over just in time for pre-school! Thank god for pre-school!

14. Relief. 
It's over. That was easy. Sort of fun even! 

15. Impatience. 
Why do we have to wait so long for the second round?! Why can't you just get spotty now smaller toddler? Come ON!

16. Confusion. 
So Child B is going to get spots anywhere from day 7 to day 21 after Child A's first spots. But it's most likely to be 14 days. And they're contagious from 3 days BEFORE the spots. How the hell are we supposed to know when they're contagious if it happens BEFORE spots?!? 

17. Rebelliousness. 
Sorry people of the world but I can't stay in another second. I'm taking them out. 

18. Denial. 
Lots of my friends' 2nd kids didn't even catch them from their sibling. He won't get them. He definitely won't get them. Especially because we're going on holiday.

19. Utter Stupidity. 
Seeing as he hasn't got them yet I'll just take them swimming one time.

20. HORRENDOUS GUILT. 
Shit. Chicken pox appeared in the swimming pool. Feel like world's worst human.

21. EVEN WORSE GUILT AND SHAME. 
Get reassured of the fact I am world's worst human by kind stranger on Facebook.

22. Self pity. 
Child B's chicken pox arrived 24 hrs before our first ever family holiday and our first holiday of any sort in 3 years. WOE IS ME.

23. Mum-Guilt. 
Not only awful human, am terrible mother for caring about holiday being ruined more than possible awful poorliness of infant son. 

24. Fear. 
Have angered chicken pox gods by swimming and lack of concern for baby. He'll probably get them really bad now.

25. Resignation. 
Holiday ruined but nevermind. Lovely cuddles to look forward to.

26. Wistfulness. 
Look at this gorgeous holiday we are missing out on. *all the sighing*.

27. Sadness. 
Oh no. He's really very poorly. Poor baby, poor big brother, poor us!

28. Helplessness. 
I want to make you better little man but I can't! 

29. Bargaining. 
Please. PLEASE holiday park wifi, just stream Mr Tumble with no buffering. I'm begging you. We need an overdose of Mr Tumble stat. 

30. Exhaustion. 
My first ever ACTUAL sleepless night with a child. As in no sleep. None.

31. Hysteria. 
Sometimes when you're beyond exhaustion and your child who hasn't drunk in 24 hours finally drinks milk and then projectile vomits across the room all you can do is laugh, cry and rock in the corner. 

32. Zombie brained. 
Full days of cuddling and buggy pushing are a blur. Left foot, right foot just keep walking. 

33. Drunk. 
It's best, when sleep deprived and a bit insane to go and get drunk with some relative strangers. You know who you are. Thank you. 

34. Heart wrenching, mind blowing love. 
For the baby who finally, FINALLY sleeps, even though he's naked and spotty in your bed, with his sweaty face pressed against yours and his hand down your top. 

35. Temptation. 
Come on. Who hasn't wanted to pick those little scabs?! 

36. Shock. 
It's actually all over. No more spots! And we never have to do it again!

37. Cautiousness. 
Hey friends.. remember us? Wanna hang out again? Does soft play still work the same way? Is messy play still on on Wednesdays? 

38. Unfamiliarity. 
Messy play is NOT still on on wednesdays, I totally missed the Easter card making at preschool and 2 whole babies have been born while we were in the pox bubble.

39. Pride. 
We survived. Exhausted and broken but we survived.

40. Resolution. 
Baby number 3 if or when he or she arrives, is getting the chicken pox vaccine. NEVER AGAIN. 


5 comments:

  1. Relative stranger says - you're welcome. And thank you for traumatising me beyond belief that my twins will one day have to experience this (reads *I* will have to go through this) big massive sigh. But yay that you are finally healed. Life is good!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totes Brilliant post! Spot on! (Sorry for bad joke). Was considering the chicken pox vaccine until found out it costs £200...but maybe worth it with the time of work/ total kid boredom/shitness of having chicken pox?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes and yes and yes. We did double chicken pox last year. The 4yo got it on the last week of preschool and on the day he was meant to be going to the Commonwealth Games with his Dad. The 18mo got his first spot 3 days into a camping trip in France. He had a lot of oatmeal baths in the washing up trug.

    But it's all done now!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes and yes and yes. We did double chicken pox last year. The 4yo got it on the last week of preschool and on the day he was meant to be going to the Commonwealth Games with his Dad. The 18mo got his first spot 3 days into a camping trip in France. He had a lot of oatmeal baths in the washing up trug.

    But it's all done now!

    ReplyDelete

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