I'm afraid my reviewing opportunities were somewhat hampered by the pox, or more acurately, by the screaming miserable baby with a roaring temperature and the quarantine we had to place upon him, but I'll give it a go.
I want to tell you about the amazing swimming pool and the hours of fun the boys had on the permanent bouncy castle, playing in the indoor mini golf and letting off steam in the beautifully themed circus play room. I'd love to tell you about the restaurants, the spa and the babysitting service available for parents to enjoy a quiet night in the pub or going out for dinner. But I can't.
What I can tell you is that the Bluestone equivalent of room service is a 'take away' menu with a variety of food which came quickly and was hot and tasty. I can recommend the korma and rice for an easy 'one handed' dinner which you can eat while rocking a restless baby.
If long walks with a baby who won't sleep unless you keep moving the buggy are what you're after, Bluestone is the dream. There are lots of beautiful paths and my particular favourite, the boardwalk down to 'Camp Smokey' has spectacular views of the forest as well as a satisfying 'thuddud' sound when you walk on it.
The free wifi is good during the day for streaming endless episodes of Something Special on your laptop to try and distract an itchy infant from ripping their skin off and for uploading pictures of the gin you are drinking at 11am to Instagram.
Sadly however, it's not good enough to cope with the hundreds of other families watching Cbeebies Iplayer from 6pm-9pm. This may be enough to make you cry, depending on your levels of holiday sleep deprivation.
The bakery sells fresh bread and croissants as well as delicious coffee and literally weep-inducing hot chocolates. As well as all this, there is a little patio outside where you can leave your spotty infectious children and still see them, without endangering the health of other customers.
(Disclaimer, the hot chocolate may not make everyone weep. It was delicious but I hadn't slept in 36 hours and it's likely a mug of warm water would've made me cry.)
The lodge was lovely. We had a wonderful view, which was made possibly by the genius "upside down living" concept. (Bedrooms downstairs). Upstairs was a big, open plan room with lots of room for toddlers to run/dance/hop around like lunatics when their meds kick in. The TV has Cbeebies. And the sofa cushions make a good fort.
The kitchen was well stocked with 6 egg cups which are brilliant for playing playdough with. Who doesn't love making playdough sand castles? It also had everything else you need, like glasses for gin, but not plastic plates or bowls for serving up 17 meals a day for your child to ignore and/or throw on the floor.
The SHOWERS. Oh my god, the showers. They are seriously good. I had one A DAY. Can you imagine?! They are also good for climbing in and pretending you're in a tiny glass house (him not me). The baths are lovely too, which was good because we gave pox-face about 4 a day.
Outside our lodge was a delightful spot of gravel, ideal for digging in your pyjamas when you've slept all afternoon and won't go to bed.
Other outdoor attractions include: a hole in the ground, in which an imaginary fox lives (a real fox may well live there but Bear Grylls wasn't around to tell us for sure); loads of really brave tiny birds who like to eat bread you throw for them; a bug house, which was loads of bits of natural stuff (sticks and the like) in which insects apparently live [for the record, we saw no insects but the boys did enjoy looking at all the sticks!]
Chicken pox aside, the resort was perfect for young families, the entertainers were great with them, my older son ADORED the 'Woody Wild gang' (giant hedgehog, ladybird, snail and bee) who came out each day and played games with the kids and the nearby beach in Tenby is stunning. (I know because I sat in a car with a sleeping baby looking at said beach for over an hour!)
So basically, our youngest son had a hefty and fairly nasty case of chicken pox in our ideal holiday location. It's been nearly 2 weeks since we came back and I still feel a bit sorry for us all! If we could afford a holiday, I would definitely, definitely go back to Bluestone. I loved it. Chicken pox and all.