25 April 2016

You do know how that happens don't you?

I recently announced my pregnancy. Normally this is an exciting, precious time spent shrieking and talking about names and online browsing for baby clothes, and to some extent it is. But this baby, this 1/2 a banana with fingernails and eyebrows* is a little different.

This baby is my THIRD baby. (*I just had to google how big my baby was, I could have told you in a heartbeat what sized fruit the first two were without googling!)

Yes, I've crossed a line, from normal human with 2 kids, a socially accepted norm, to CRAZY lady who must have taken a leave from her senses or forgotten to take her pill.

Even my Dad cracked a couple of you're having loads of kids gags, like "you'll have a football team soon". I mean, good solid Dad joke there, fine work, but it turns out you can't actually mock me for having 3 kids because I am YOUR third kid! 

Here are some of my other favourite real-life responses to the news that I will be having YET ANOTHER baby.

"Congrats! Is it your first?" (No, 3rd, I have a 2 & 3 year old already) "Oh!" (with concerned face and awkward silence)

"Wow! You're crazy!" (Concise and to the point. I like that.)

"Shit, really?!" (Nah, just messin'. As if anyone would really have THREE kids)

"Oh my god... that's SO brave! I could NEVER cope with three!" (Newsflash, we're not sure I can cope yet either so rein it in a bit yeah?)

"You're a human machine" (umm yeah, I suppose I am)

"What are you going to call your blog?" (Excellent question, I think I'm just going to scribble "and a baby" across the header to be honest.)

"Can you even fit 3 car seats in a car?!" (My favourite because I spend most nights on autotrader trying to assess the width of the back seats of cars)

and the big one, the hilarious joke...

"Ooops! You do know how this keeps happening don't you?" OH how I laugh when people hilariously assume I couldn't possibly have wanted another baby.

Unsolicited contraceptive advice is, honestly, my least favourite response. Fine, think I'm crazy, brave, stupid, whatever, but unless we know each other well enough to have previously discussed my contraceptive choices, bringing them up now is just plain inappropriate. I have many friends who I DO discuss contraception with, they were well within their rights to ask if we were trying/ not trying/ not not trying/ drunk/ totally shocked about the pregnancy. Everyone else can do one. 

In general though, reactions have been positive, people are pleased and a bit surprised. I don't know if it's me or if this is true, but I sort of feel like the shine is taken off the announcement for number 3. I mean, everyone has already congratulated us over the first one, and the second one, seen me with a big belly, cuddled at least one of my kids as a newborn... I can't help but feel a sense of "oh, another one, that's nice" as opposed to "oh my god! you're having a BABY!!!!" Truth be told, I feel that myself, so I can't blame anyone else for being a bit bored of me having babies. 

Underlying that sense of "here we go again" is a new feeling that I only really noticed when my friend pointed it out. She said "wow, you're going to be a proper, proper Mummy, y'know? Like an expert Mum". She said she felt a bit in awe of me and the fact I'm going to have a real brood of kids around me. I know what she means, I look at mums with three kids in awe too. Now I am in training to be one of those mums, I do feel, maybe not like an expert, but at least like a bit of an old hat at this. 

The old-timer in me knows too, that no matter how blase I am about third pregnancy, no matter how many days/weeks/months I go without checking what size fruit the baby is, I will love this baby exactly as much as I do the first two, which is a stupidly, massively enormous amount. 

I got this. The first time I thought I had it and couldn't have been more wrong. The second time I naively thought would be easier and was knocked sideways again. This time I'm ready for it. I know the drill. I know what's coming for me, and it's crazy and impossible and other-worldly exhausting but I'm ok with that. Ok with a healthy dose of terrified. 

And as terrified as I am, I absolutely know that at Christmas next year, when this pregnancy is long over and I've survived the first (probably horrific) year of having 3 kids, when my 1 year old, 4 year old and 5 year olds are unwrapping their presents under the tree, there's no way on earth I will think "I wish we had stuck with two". 

It's the magic number.


  1. Congratulations! I love the end para because you're quite right, that first year will undoubtedly be crazy but you won't want it any other way. My 2 are 19 months apart (now 2 and 3) and I had some awful comments when we announced it and it very much felt like no one was interested so I completely get the shine being taken off. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy xx

    1. Ah thank you! My first 2 are 18 months apart! This time I have a bigger gap so hoping for only one person in nappies at a time!!

  2. SO happy for you, Amy, as you know! And also so happy you are joining me in the three club. Your friend's right - I do feel like a mummy mummy now, in a way that I didn't when I had a baby and a toddler (my first two are 24 months apart). A longer gap makes all the difference to coping too! I'm not going to give you any advice because you've got this, like you say. I'm just going to say WELL DONE and WOOOO! lots of love, Jess xxx

  3. Three is the magic number. I couldn't even imagine having just the older two now. It is amazing news and you are going to be a brilliant and wise mother of three. xxxxxx