22 July 2016

The Big Baby Fear

I'm pregnant with my 3rd baby after a what-I-call GINORMOUS 2nd baby.

2 days old in a size 3-6month baby grow. Weighing more than the Christmas Turkey!
Here's how the conversation about my giant baby usually goes down:

1. Someone mentions babies.
2. Someone mentions weights of babies.
3. I tell them my baby weighed 10 pounds 6 ounces (or 4.7kg if they speak new money)
4. Everyone in the vicinity winces.
5. Someone asks if it was "a natural birth"...
6. I say yes, at home in a birth pool.
7. People audibly gasp.
8. Everyone makes a comment along the lines of

a) OUCH
b) OMG
c) God, I thought MY labour was painful
d) NO WAY.
e) So this one will probably weigh, like a STONE!

9. I smile and nod amiably and internally scream at everyone to shut up.

So far in my 3rd pregnancy the only person to so much as entertain the idea that this baby isn't going to be a behemoth is my consultant who said "well, mathematically, everything errs towards the mean so it might be closer to your first baby's weight" (Which by the way was 7lb 9oz). Thank you maths guy.

But, given that we don't know, I'm preparing for the fact that this so far tiny creature in my belly may well come out the size of a 3 month old like his or her big brother did.

With my last baby, I went in to the labour, having had one fairly easy, fairly quick labour previously, with no worries about "having a big baby" and the birth was (honestly) brilliant.Yes it hurt, because giving birth hurts, but the big baby certainly didn't hurt any more than the average sized one. The labour was no more arduous. The pushing was no more tiring. The whole experience was better than my first experience.

And yet... now I suspect (and keep having people loudly supporting my suspicion) that this baby will be big, I've got the fear! The big baby fear, that comes from decades of people wincing at the mention of a large baby. My brain knows, from experience, that it doesn't hurt more, yet the message I hear over and over again is that it just MUST do and somehow that message is starting to override what I know I experienced!

So in order to quash this stupid myth, that it hurts more to give birth to a big baby than a small one, I asked a group of other mums who've done both to reassure me that big baby doesn't equal painful delivery... and here are their answers:

Thank you Chloe, Jenny, Danielle, Mandi and Emma for your words of encouragement!!! They are much appreciated!

So this is what I shall come and read when yet another well meaning acquaintance winces at the very thought of me giving birth in a few months time. I especially love Danielle's Mum whose 10lber JUST FELL OUT. If I read that enough times my baby will get the message that he or she should just fall out too right?! Good!

If you've had a giant baby and the labour was blissful, easy and/or pain free please comment below and make me feel better... If you've had a traumatic, awful labour with a big baby PLEASE BE QUIET AND DON'T SAY ANYTHING! Thanks!!!


2 comments:

  1. Id have to agree, I dont think size makes a difference to the labour you have at least in my experience. Our first was 6lbs 14oz and I had a painful, protracted three day labour that ended up being an assisted ventouse delivery. Our second was much bigger at 8lbs 3oz, but was an 8 hour labour with just gas and air. If I had to choose one labour experience to re-do it would be the second! Emily x

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  2. I've had two big babies - 9lb and 9lb 6oz. I'll be honest, the first wasn't the best labour and delivery, but I'm convinced that was just because he was my first. My second was an amazing labour, 10 hours long, in the water with no pain relief whatsoever. I don't think there's anything you can do about it but I totally understand where you're coming from xxx

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